A house, and a home.

Have you ever realized how much more personal a home is versus a house? You 'house hunt', but it becomes your 'home sweet home'.  How is it that some freestanding structure becomes such a part of who we are as a person?

It's one of the oddest things, to tell someone you're contemplating selling your house. It's as if you're telling someone you're considering voluntarily becoming a paraplegic. There is so much shock and confusion.

Don't get me wrong, I love my home more than anything. I absolutely adore these four walls, the stair cases, the backyard, the little white fence. I love the paint colors I chose, the paint colors I painted over, the floors I stained, the things I furnished it will, the plants I planted. This house was my own. I hunted and hunted and fell in love and signed the papers five and a half years ago.

But to me, she's still just four walls. She made up the grounds for a lot of great memories, but she isn't the memories themselves. Everything filling this foundation are just additives to my life, they aren't my life itself.

Maybe it's because I am voluntarily selling my house. Maybe that is why it's so foreign.

All of this babbling is the long way of saying that Tate & I have started house-hunting. Yea, gasp, big step. It started as a hair-brained idea, as we were chatting longingly about exposed brick walls over a couple Moscow mules during one of our regular date nights. Our list of wishes and wants gracefully unfolded into a few peeks at local listings, a pre approval letter, and a call to our realtor.

I had forgotten how much I loved the house-hunting process. Stepping through front door after front door, never knowing what quirks you will find. Every house tells such a story itself, but it also provides such blank page and I can't help but start to fill those pages in my head with how our life together would unfold in each room.

Some have been total bunks from the get go, and some have sparked our interest. We already had our first minor heartbreak when we learned that a dream-inducing condo FULL of exposed-brick had received 3 offers just days after we looked at it.

All of this means that eventually it will be time to put my home on the market, to make that jump, and become an official downtown Indianapolis urbanite instead of just a suburban pretending to be hip. It's exciting, and also slightly terrifying. But mostly, it just feels right.

Here's to hoping this transition from home to house to home is everything we could have hoped for!

When the ice melts.

I hate writing about current events. It's just like begging to stir up a shitstorm. I deleted this post twice before actually publishing it. But after scoffing at this all week, I felt a need to truly voice my side of it.

My beef with this ice bucket challenge?

What sort of society do we live in that we have to dare our friends to dump icy, cold water on themselves to get them to care about a cause? 

Is that really what we've become?

Believe me, the marketing/grass roots/word of mouth aspect of all of this is awe-inspiring from an advertising/PR point of view. I could sing the praises of whoever started all of this (despite mixed reviews of how it actually originated) I have never once bashed the organization or the fact that they are receiving donations. It's awesome that they have witnessed such a boost in awareness.

What I'm disappointed in is that so many people are only doing it because its "cool".  Do you know what isn't nearly as buzzworthy? Sitting at a nursing home for a few hours keeping the residents company. Taking time out of your holiday season to go slop turkey and noodles on a Styrofoam plate for the line of homeless folks standing before you. Throwing your spare change in the red bucket at Christmas. Do you know what makes you feel just as good inside?

My beef isn't with the cause, it's with the motive of the participants. Do you, as a human, as an American, really need guaranteed pats on the back to do good onto others? That mindset is disgusting, you guys.

I have always made a point to donate my time or money to a handful of selected charities every year. Guess what? No one in particular asked me to, and no one sings my praise when I do. I could be lead astray, but I am fairly certain that doesn't decrease the value in what I do. I do it because I feel personally vetted to the individual causes. In one way or another, I have been drawn to each of the respective organizations, and I want to pledge to them. Not because someone dares me to.

I hope that by dumping ice water on your head you do truly realize the meaning behind it, and you do truly want to help cure this disease. I hope that this opens the eyes of many to what a little fun and a little donation of time can lead to. I hope that ALS research advances leaps and bounds by this, but I also hope that people use it as a jumping point to find other things they are passionate about, and find ways to help.

If you pledged anything this year, ice or not. I thank you. Thanks for putting good juju into the world. We need more of that. I genuinely hope that we aren't approaching a time where they only way you can get someone to care about a cause is to turn it into a media circus.

What happened to love?

 

Do you ever find yourself in conversation with an older gentleman, probably someone's grandpa, and he gets on the topic of his late wife. Do you notice the glimmer he gets in his eye? The smirk when he mentions those quirks shes had, the love they shared, the longing ever since she passed?

Fast-forward to modern day men, and that glimmer is gone. I can't tell you the last time a guy brought up a relationship and he actually seemed happy to be in it. When he didn't call her "crazy" within the first 10 minutes, or complain about the things she does, the things she says.

What happened? Where did the love go? When did we, as a generation, lose that sense of pride and commitment to a relationship, to our 'partner'?

It's refreshing to hear a guy bragging on his girl, instead of complaining about her. It's adorable to watch a fellas eyes light up when his girl walks into a room, as opposed to hearing him groan and make some one-off comment. It's admirable when it's clear a man can't get enough of her, and has eyes for no one else, instead of trying to flirt with any other woman around.

This isn't some feminist rant about holding doors or paying for the tab. It's just a mind dump where I confess that it makes me sad. It makes me sad that all these guys date these great girls and act like they could care less if they were even around.

Maybe that's part of the reason I continue to chose to be single. I don't want to juts be in a relationship because it's expected. I want to be in one because I can't get enough of someone, and they can't get enough of me. I want to be in one where we make each other awesome, and happy, and elated and maybe this is just me dreaming un-achievable dreams, but I find that hard to believe when I've met so many grandpa's and grandma's who still have that glimmer in their eye.

I need your help!

Watching my now four year old niece battle cancer for over half of her life has been one of the hardest, yet most inspiring things I've ever gone through. Oftentimes the biggest struggle was feeling absolutely helpless as I watched her fight for her life.

This past spring, after completing her second (and hopefully final, EVER) bout of chemotherapy and radiation,  Give Kids the World and Make A Wish foundation helped make my niece Olivia's "wish" come true. She was granted a trip to Disneyworld, and had the most amazing time of her life. I have never seen Olivia smile as much as she had when she was telling me about the week she spent in Florida, and the resort they stayed at, and all the characters she met. While this is a gift I could never repay, I want to make sure every kids wish is granted the way Olivia's was.

I'm not one to ask for help/donations unless it's something I am truly passionate about.  This coming Sunday I will be participating in a 'coaster-thon' with Liv, any donations I receive will go towards granting the 'wishes' of other kids battling life-threatening diseases as well. 

Please help me spread some smiles. This organization is truly one of a kind, and what they offer to the kids & their families is worth any dollar you can spare, I guarantee it. 
http://support.gktw.org/site/TR/CoastingForKids/General?px=1228361&pg=personal&fr_id=1236

Even if you can't donate, I encourage you to read up on their foundation and the great things they do. We might not be able to ensure these kids beat cancer, or whatever they are up against.... but we can make sure they get to smile and have fun, the way kids are supposed to do.

Love Languages.

I remember hearing about the 5 Languages of Love book a while back, and kind of laughed at the idea. But the more I thought about it the more I agreed, and while I haven't read the whole book I do agree with the excerpts I've read.

Just as everyone learns differently, everyone loves differently.

With Valentine's Day looming around the corner, I found myself in a conversation this morning regarding how I felt most 'loved' and immediately googled to find the quiz and learn my "love language".

If I'm being completely honest - when my results popped up, I felt like an asshole. A materialistic jerk.

But the more I thought about what they said, the more I realized it was true. And the more I realized that's how I naturally 'show' my love for others.

I absolutely adore surprises. When someone takes the time to plan something, or pick something up for me 'just because' I get SO happy.

And I find myself doing it a lot for others, when I'm in a relationship. I LOVE giving gifts, especially ones that are completely at random and just scream the other persons name. Every birthday and Christmas I struggle because I am SO wrapped up in finding the PERFECT gift.

Second place for my 'love languages' was tied between Words of Affirmation and Quality Time, which I can fully agree with. This was really interesting to me, because it pointed out some things that I had realized before. And also reminded me that maybe not everyone feels loved because I surprise them with a gift the way I do (ha!)

(PS I have no affiliation, with this site, the author, the book, etc. I just found it interesting. The quiz can be found here - I'd love to hear what your love language is, and if you agree!)